Forgiveness....

My father and I didn't always have the easiest of relationships. He lived a "hard" life - - drank and smoked for many years. I am sure I didn't always help situations either. We were close, but definitely had bumps along the way........

At some point I just decided to not put these unreasonable expectations on my dad. I let go of the little stuff and decided to focus on what was good....I realized that he's had a tough life and I became more forgiving...That shift in my thinking changed a lot of things for us....

When I got pregnant with Nate, he vowed to call me every single night. I think there have only been a handful of days in the last few years that we haven't spoke. In fact I think I can count those evenings on my fingers. He hasn't come up to visit me often, but he does know everything about our days - From what we are having for dinner --to the weather (always a favorite topic), and course that daily scoop on the "Bean." My dad could tell you all of the things that Nate can do. He has been incredibly supportive and so just so confident that we will get through our toughest days. My dad seemed to have more faith in us than we had in ourselves....

My two cents for the day -----For those family relationships that are challenging -Look at where you can let go a bit - Hold the line with things that are very important, but also find opportunities to be forgiving. There is a reason your family members became the people they are -----My mom once shared with me a profound (yet so simple) revelation she had: Find forgiveness and have faith in the power of love.

You just never know when you'll have to say goodbye........

Dad and Lorie came to see us the day after Nate was born....

This was the first time he got to meet his grandson...

I love this picture.

Goodbye Papi

At 2:30 this afternoon, my brother and stepmother called me at work to tell me that my father had passed away in his sleep. It was very unexpected --- Truthfully I think we're all still in shock.I am so glad that my dad got to meet and spend time with Nate. He was definitely a proud Papi!

We love you and will miss you so much.........

Bean's Buddies....

On Saturday, we woke up to a cool crisp autumn morning. There was that sweet smell of wood stove which almost made us believe there were eggs and bacon already cooking for us in the kitchen. I actually woke up at 5 a.m. and remarked to Eric that it somehow felt like Christmas morning. I am not sure what exactly it was - Perhaps it was a combination of the sweet smell of burning wood and that all encompassing quiet of early morning. You know that kind of quiet that you take in knowing that your day will be exciting, and that somehow your day will change you. And yes it was an exciting day. A day in fact to celebrate all that Nate brings to our lives. A day to celebrate every one of his perfect 47 chromosomes!

Eric set off early in the morning to help set-up. Nate's cold was pretty bad still so we took our time getting over to the park. Nate enjoyed a steamy bath and a big bowl of oatmeal and peaches.

As soon as we got there, Eric waved me over to do an interview with him for our local radio station. Even though we had been talking and planning this day for months, in that moment it was so hard to find a few words that captured what this day meant to us. How do we explain this day to people who don't even really know what Down syndrome is? (I should tell you that Nate was quite fascinated by the big black foam-topped microphone that the dj had -and boy he really looked like he had something he wanted to say- perhaps he'll have a future on the radio!)

There was our walk, fantastic music, an amazing key note speech, and wonderful performances. In some ways the day was a blur --- so much love, so many family and friends, so many hugs, so much to celebrate. Looking back on the day, Eric and I felt like we needed more time to connect with folks. There are many people we wanted to talk to and didn't. Eric actually thought a potluck the night before could have been fun. We have also talked about setting up a parent group for the Valley. One day just isn't enough to meet and talk to people in our "tribe."

Although there are probably things that could be improved for next year, all in all, this year's Buddy Walk was a great success. The time and commitment that the planning team dedicated to this event was evident --The day was quite special. Over 200 people came and I think we raised over $6000! Pretty impressive for our first walk!!?? Right??!!

Of course minutes into the walk itself, Nate feel asleep. I guess that is what a steamy bath and a big bowl of oatmeal will do to you on a cool crisp autumn morning.....Yes, it was a pretty perfect day for all........

Brattleboro Buddy Walk!

Is in two days -------October 17th!

So the weather forecast doesn't appear to be so great (Mother Nature is not looking like our Buddy), but we are still hopeful that we will have a great turn out and a truly special day!!

Listen here for my interview with Monte from WRSI, 93.9 The River:
http://www.wrsi.com/pages/3243131.php

Click on "Buddy Walk" under podcasts.

At the orchard with our Bean.......
It's just impossible to think of our lives without our sweet Nate....

Belonging

Have you been wondering how school (Daycare - but don't tell Nate) is going???

Well it's been going great!! Our month long transition into Winston Prouty was worth every minute. The school community is pretty awesome. Nate is in a very diverse class with some pretty cute 15 month to 2 year old kiddos. His teachers are incredibly caring and supportive. They are also quite skilled in what they do. They participate in regular professional development and believe that all students in their program are unique and special little beings. So true.
Here is more info about the program (pretty cool - right?):
http://www.winstonprouty.org/early_learning_center.htm


Now that we're here....2 weeks into it, I can say that we are feeling like this is right for Nate. Truthfully I don't think we could find another daycare situation quite like this. Nate's interventionists work right there in the school. They can provide intervention right in his classroom and model strategies for his teachers to use. It doesn't mean that all is perfect every day...We still find ourselves needing to advocate for Nate - or even just speak up when things don't seem to be handled appropriately for him. For example this week, a 16 month developmental questionnaire came home for us to fill out. Out of about 50 things listed on the questionnaire, Nate could do about two of the listed developmental skills. A big oops on their part. However, they are always ready to listen to our concerns, respect our knowledge of Nate, and support our goals for him.

What really is exciting is that Nate is becoming a part of an inclusive classroom community. Nate's new friends want to play games with him, want to pull him around in the wagon - grab his glasses off his face. When Nate arrives in the morning, they all hurry over to the classroom entrance calling out his name. I am not sure he gets their excitement -It probably means more to us at this moment than Nate. But our hope is that someday he will be able to understand that his classmates like him and care that he's a part of their day. That his presence in is important -- That they would notice if he wasn't there.

What more could we ask for. Isn't that what a lot of us want? To belong?

Thank you Winston Prouty - You are a pretty special place!